After Lyna left, I spoke with Crystal Exarch because I felt bad for him.
Lyna really had him in his feelings. I don’t even want to know what a “mishap with the salmon fillet” could mean. What could Crystal Exarch have done with a salmon fillet to make a grown woman act weird around him? You know what? I don’t want to know.
I stepped outside and spoke with Lyna, who informed me that the reason she pulled me aside was to ask for my help against a sin eater. Really? I’m the Warrior of Darkness. You have hundreds of armed guards. I have better things to do like GPOSE in Limsa and listen to terrible off-tune Bards.
Nevertheless, to progress through the story, I had to go along with it. She met me out in Lakeland, where she paraded some weirdly optimistic guards to me.
They all had some sob story to tell about how they met the Warrior of Dank Memes. Even this guy was like “I watched my friend die before my very eyes and that’s why you inspire me.” Like, “Shouldn’t you be in therapy???”
One more guy comes in and introduces himself as Theyler. He talks about how we’ve met before in a non-voiced cutscene that this game expects me to remember.
After we’re introduced, Lyna deploys the group to take care of the sin eater. Shouldn’t that have been the priority here? A sin eater running rampant in Lakeland? No, we have to meet eachother first and develop that relationship.
Anyway, as soon as we arrived, the sin eater was dead.
The useless guards who, for some reason were given the title of “Gallant”, talked about a Warrior of Light who swooped in to save the day.
After the group of guards continued simping for my Warrior of Dank Memes, Lyna sent them on their way. Much like 99.9% of side quests in Final Fantasy XIV, I was completely useless to the story.
Before I could leave so I could go back to GPOSE, Lyna pulled me aside privately.
One, she finally explained the salmon fillet incident, but the matter that was pressing her the most was the fact that Crystal Exarch was happy. Oh yeah, I forgot, everyone in
Final Fantasy XIV needs to suffer from chronic depression on an endless struggle bus.
God forbid anyone is happy, right?
I was given the dialogue option of igniting a ship I didn’t know I had.
Now I got them both in their feelings.