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I know it’s been a while since my last entry in the Final Fantasy XIV journal, but I have a completely reasonable explanation for this: I was playing other games. I know, it’s a crime for XIV players to actually get through their backlog. It’s honestly a meme at this point for us to buy a game we’ll never play because we’re too busy gposing in FFXIV.
I logged back in after a couple of weeks to a little concert by a Lalafell Bard. I tried to sit far away from the other patrons because, honestly, I’m 100% sure they were in the middle of an ERP session and using the music as background noise. After looking for a way to escape, I noticed an NPC I’ve never seen before.
A Sundry Splendors NPC that sells a bunch of old crap from Rowena. How have I not noticed this before? Was this new? Maybe she’s been there, but I’ve avoided Limsa Lominsa for so long like the plague because I didn’t want second-hand splash juice from the denizens of the people who pay $15 a month to sit around a crystal.
Though, I will tell you one thing about Limsa Lominsa, if you don’t have a Roegadyn wearing some kind of ridiculous headpiece in a one-piece suit teabagging Lalafells, then are you even on a fun server?
Unfortunately, it was time for me to leave the fun place where no one would bring a blacklight to and venture off to continue the main story quest. I just entered Shadowbringers and am tasked with making a decision as to whether I should follow Alisae first or Alphinaud. As much as I love my 4th favorite elf boy (who I’m 100% sure is voiced by Daniel Radcliffe), I never got to spend enough time with Alisaie in A Realm Reborn. I’m just making up for the lost time.
Of course, she decided she wanted to be on the other side of the map. I can’t fly in this area yet, so I was chased down by giant cactuars wearing cactuar hats spraying me with needles to satisfy their weird needle bukkake fetish.
After finally running my way to her on the map, she turns to a guard and casually tells them she needs to return to the Crystarium.
Could you not have met me here? Why did I have to get myself pricked to death by horny cacti to meet you in the desert?
This is the face of a Lalafell that should have followed her twin brother first, but I’m sure he’d put me through much worse while sounding exactly like Harry Potter.
Here’s the question of the day: should I fantasia back to a tall race? As comedic as Lalafells are, I miss staring at Hyur booty.
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