I truly believe the rest of the Astrologian quests will just be a play on words with the Astrologian cards. I mean, I’m not complaining.
After subjecting myself to Costa Del Sol fates…
Healing through Haukke Manor…
And barely surviving Brayflox Longstop…
I finally reached level 35. I immediately ran down to the job quest where Jannequinard asked me if I knew what the seven heavens were. I mean, I know of a Seventh Heaven? I frequented the bar in the Final Fantasy 7: Remake for non-Tifa reasons.
After going on about gates and stars, he told me the only point where we can open the first gate we’re after is in Thanalan. Yes, one specific spot in the world is where you should stand to get the power of the stars.
When I arrived, I saw corpses of bandits who were simply trying to feed their families. Don’t mess with Tarot card readers and their armed manservants.
Before speaking to Leveva, I went to see if Leveva’s Elezen manservant and Jannequinard had anything to say. The manservant was as polite as he could be, and I now understand why Leveva wanted him nearby. Jannequinard, on the other hand, was one sentence away from getting canceled for racism.
Finally, I spoke with Leveva, whose dialogue was akin to a subtweet about Jannequinard, except he was standing right there. Again, she’s not one to mince words.
Poor Quimperain has to stand here and pretend like he doesn’t care about his not-so-capable master and the woman he’s clearly in love with as they continue to bicker on the topic of how they wipe their own asses.
After their little quarrel, which is how many protagonist/tsundere anime relationships start, we look up at the sky to see a horrifying mutation of a fish with four appendages, one holding a geisha hand fan.
After learning what we could about this collection of stars that happen to take the shape of different objects (like seeing a face in things), we head to Southern Thanalan.
Quimperain, being the polite gentleman he is, admits he likes the sand, but he’s coming off as one of us low self-esteem social media users. You know, the ones who go on about their interests but then get self-conscious near the end like we didn’t care to hear about it.
I could go on for hours about a topic, but if I start to get the feeling the person listening isn’t interested, even if it’s an assumption, I’ll just apologize and swear off ever talking again.
I spoke with Jannequinard, who told me this was his first gate in seventeen years. He pins the blame on his training. I’m sorry, man, but you’re just incompetent at looking at stars. It’s only been an hour, and I opened two gates myself. Get with the program, man.
The second constellation we encountered in this quest looked like a Star Wars star destroyer with a bad pimple.
After taking up the stance of the ultra-rich, who think everyone in life has the same opportunity in life, Leveva explains that our problems are because we’re super negative all the time. Seriously, her attitude is the same as people who don’t believe people in minimum wage jobs shouldn’t have the right to live minimally. “Get an education and improve your skills.” Okay, Randy, pay for our college then.
Afterward, she takes another not-so-passive-aggressive shot at Jannequinard to tell me I should use my growing influence as a magic tarot card reader to also tell other people that their lack of success is because of their poor attitude.
Finally, it was time to turn in the quest. You do so by running back to Ishgard, where Jannequinard sounds like he’s giving a book report on a book he didn’t read.
Now it’s time to level to 40 for the next job quest.
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Final Fantasy XIV Journal: Entry One
Final Fantasy XIV Journal: Entry Two
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Final Fantasy XIV: A Welcome Guest
Final Fantasy XIV: Fortune Favors The Bole
Final Fantasy XIV: A Grand Adventure