After coming back from an almost useless trip out to Lakeland, I have to, once again, speak to the Crystarium Gatekeep to speak with Crystal Exarch.
Yes, I’m here to speak with the Crystal Exarch. Why else am I here? To use the bathroom? Why do I even need your permission anymore? I’m LITERALLY the reason why it’s nighttime now. Just let me walk in.
Alphinaud, the Crystal Exarch, Urianger, Beq Lugg, and Y’shtola all gather together to talk about how tainted the Warriors of Light have become among the citizenry. The Warriors of Light are basically the victims of cancel culture. The group huddles together to figure out how they would defend their names since Twitter doesn’t exist for them to white knight.
Their idea was to get everyone in the Crystarium together and make a passionate speech about how the Warriors of Light weren’t all bad.
The people of the Crystarium felt remorse about slandering their name. If only this was that easy to do on social media. This was basically an in-person version of generic YouTube apology videos.
Of course, as everything was going well (a little too well), Hot Topic Ardbert showed up out of nowhere.
My character knew something was off about him. Why? He’s inside of me, so how is he now outside of me?
Ardbert turns the crowd around, and everyone stops paying attention to me.
Urianger suggests this is the perfect opportunity for us to slip out and talk smack behind his back.
We watch from the safety of the Ocular as my character confirms that is not the real Ardbert. Want to know how she knows? He’s wiggling inside of her.
That’s when we assume that it’s the work of Ascians because they’re the go-to bad guys like Russians in 80’s action movies.
If we were on Twitter, we would simply say, “Nuh Uh, that’s not him,” but since this is real-life, the group decides the best way to go about this is to follow him. What could go wrong, right?